Miracles

I couldn't believe this! I saw rainbows today again, not once, but twice! My third rainbow in a week, and yes, a real stormy week. I just think this is a sign, a silver lining in the midst of my recent upheavals of life.

I text Him immediately when I was first greeted by it while driving down to the mall last Friday. Right across the sky, magnificent and enchanting, a colourful trail of goodness of life and spirit. I wanted so much to share my elation with a loved one, and the first person I thought of was Him. Optimism prevailed despite the gloomy rain that had descended on our path of whirlwind love and romance.

I spotted it again today while on my way to work. A swift glance as I zoomed down the quiet road, in the midst of the stacked houses. Then at the T-junction across the lake, another presented before my full view, captivating and awesome as it arched gracefully into the clear crystal blue waters. I savoured every minute of the spectacular sight before making the turn reluctantly towards my destination.

It was amazing that none of my colleagues and friends whom I had asked saw the beauty of nature. It was a heavenly gift, and as one lovely nursing staff put it, they were meant specially for me.

Another friend was curious why I would be so excited and charmed by the rainbows, like a little girl who chanced upon a tiara. "Don't you have that in Singaland as well, or any parts of the world?" Well, I guess it was the state of mind and circumstance during which they appeared.

Have I ever stopped by the road and count the colours of the rainbow? Or listen to the melodious chirpings of the birds? Or smell the sweet scent of the roses? I had clearly been drowned by the stifling pursuits of the rat race back home and engulfed by the fiery flames of stress and dissatisfaction. How can I forget the miraculous 7 wonders of the world, which are To SEE, SMELL, HEAR, FEEL, TOUCH, TASTE and LOVE? I am beginning to slowly achieve each one of them with delight and relish.

My heart is now dancing to the oh-so-familiar tune of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". What a classic...

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow"
(by Harold Arlen and lyrics by E.Y. Harburg)

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

Beyond Words

A good pal of mine who finally decided to glance through my blog yesterday, after giving it the haughty shun for so long, protested with childlike jealousy: "How come you mentioned J** and E****, but you didn't write anything about me? I'm also your good friend, right?"

I muttered beneath my breath: "I believe my fingers will be arthritic within a month if I have to dedicate an article to every one of my friends in this world..."

But I reckon that perhaps I should have mentioned her at some stage. She, who had stood by me all these years, through my ups and downs in my professional and social lives. Someone whom I had only become closely acquainted with during my medical school days, despite knowing each other since we were 13. One who can probably read my mind more than anyone else in this world (perhaps other than Him now) and whom I had shared lots of quality moments with, as well as with her beloved grandpa who was so dearly adorable.

Our friendship has clearly progressed beyond words. No amount of writing can adequately express the deep bond that we have built up over the last decade of our lives.

She had gone through some emotional turmoils as well, being involved in major tussles with her anal-retentive family, over the love of her life. She is still stuck in the rut unfortunately, unable to break free from their tight and stifling reins. She would have succumbed miserably to their constant smothering pressures, if not for our undying support and encouragement, and most significantly, his affections for her.

I have quoted this previously, and will dedicate it to her once again:

"To dream anything that you want to dream. That is the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed."

You do have my heartfelt blessings, my dear friend. And I hope you will read my blog this time.

Rainbow

I could not believe that what rightfully appeared to be an emotional attachment between just two of us, despite us being as different as Autumn and Spring, would have spiralled out of control to involve more people than we would have thought.

The cyclone had raged, heated exchanges made in fits of anger, and innocent parties drawn unwittingly into the roaring wheals.

I guess the triggers could have been the lack of experience when dealing with our loved ones back home, the unpreparedness for some well-meaning filtration of information to them, and most importantly, their unanticipated senses of loss and abandonment, after all those years of undue love and protection for their broods.

Nevertheless, we stood by each other stoically. Our affections grew stronger by the minute, and we learned to see the roses instead of the thorns. We might not be able to reverse the direction of the winds now, but at least we could adjust the sails accordingly to always reach our destination. The clouds may be gloomy right now, but we will try to float on them, rather than wallow in misery.

"May God bless us...
For every storm, a rainbow;
For every tear, a smile;
For every care, a promise; and
A blessing for every trial.
For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share;
For every sigh, a sweet song; and
An answer for every prayer."

What seemed to us as bitter trials, were often blessings in disguise. Our rainbow will come smiling through, as long as our souls are one and wholesome.

Moods

This is such a lovely song, by Anne Murray. It truly reflects my mood at this moment...light, sentimental, secured...

I'm Happy Just to Dance With You

Before this dance is through
I think I'll love you too
I'm so happy when you dance with me.

I don't wanna kiss or hold your hand
If it's funny, try and understand
There is really nothing else I'd rather do
'Cause I'm happy just to dance with you.

I don't need to hug or hold you tight
I just wanna dance with you all night
In this world there's nothing I would rather do
'Cause I'm happy just to dance with you.

Just to dance with you
Is everything I need
Before this dance is through
I think I'll love you too
I'm so happy when you dance with me.

If somebody tries to take my place
Let's pretend we just can't see her face
In this world there's nothing I would rather do
'Cause I'm happy just to dance with you.

Just to dance with you
Is everything I need
Before this dance is through
I think I'll love you too
I'm so happy when you dance with me.

If somebody tries to take my place
Let's pretend we just can't see her face
In this world there's nothing I would rather do
I've discovered I'm in love with you.

'Cause I'm happy just to dance with you...

The Rose

Yes, I finally found the lyrics of the song "The Rose" written by Amanda McBroom, and the title tune of the movie. Mesmerising and so poignant...it really pulls my heartstrings since this is also my favourite flower:

Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose

Tints

I find this encounter so hilarious, yet frustrating simultaneously.

I was examining an elderly patient, a "regular" of the hospital. He had relocated himself and his family 8 years ago from South Africa. His wife was British.

"Are you from China?" he asked me casually, while I was going through the routine.

"No," I replied curtly, with lingering distaste. I never particularly liked being asked that question.

"Good. So you are not a Chinese spy..." He was referring indirectly to the recent report of a young Chinese diplomat and his family seeking political asylum from the Australian Immigration Department after defecting from his post in the Chinese Embassy. I could almost sense the subtle contempt and ridicule beneath his chuckle.

I continued to ignore him and carried on with my examination.

"So where did you come from?" He could not contain his curiosity any further.

"I am from Singapore." I answered with immensed pride in my tone.

The following remarks from his wife jolted me, sending shivers from my spine.

"So you are not a Singaporean spy, I hope..."

Duh...*shaking head in disbelief*

"Prejudice, not being founded on reason, cannot be removed by argument." -Samuel Johnson, English poet, Critic, Writer 1709-1784

Counting Down

Counting down...one more month to go...I am so excited!

"Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who tries to rationalise emotions."

Dance

"It is the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance.
It is the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance.
It is the one who will not be taken who cannot seem to give.
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live."

Beautiful quote...

Well, I just thought of dancing, out of the blue. I have never learned how to dance and was definitely hesitant to do so, for fear of embarrassment and failure. I love watching ballet and ballroom dancing, green with envy, as the dancers glide across the rooms with elegant poise and grace, like the swans in the lake. I never thought I was talented in it and would not have even considered it as part of my curriculum. My last remote memory of a dance which I had participated would have been more than a decade ago when I was in college, representing my nation in a Taiwanese Immersion Programme. That was quite an experience though.

But now, my heart is literally dancing! I think I am in love!

"To be fond of dancing is a certain step towards falling in love."
(Jane Austen, 1775-1817)

I plucked up the courage and poured out my feelings for Him. Such boldness and intensity stunned and amazed even myself. I would never have done that back home.

There is no regret. We reach a deeper and more affectionate level of understanding and respect for each other. Emotions overflow and there is reassurance. And everyone in the workplace was wondering why I was grinning from ear to ear. The moment was so special. Romance and all...

"We should dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt."

Hmmm...maybe I should take up ballroom dancing...perhaps with Him?

Sniff...Sniff...

Today is one important day for my longtime good pal, a lovely girl whom I have known since the tender age of 15. She is finally exchanging vows with her sweetheart, one who will hopefully cherish and love her for the rest of his life. He should have been one of the luckiest man on earth.

I wrote about her in January this year, under "Blessings". And my blessings never ceased flowing after that.

We met up a few times back home, where I returned to the embrace of my loved ones in February. That was the first time when I had the great honour of meeting her knight in shining armour (he's a huge one, alright). My happiness for her was overflowing and heartfelt, for they looked so loving and compatible together, the similar radiance and bliss glowing from their cheeks which spoke immense volumes of their affections for each other.

I called up one of my "kakis" on her mobile, while she was on her way to the dinner. It was simply exhilarating, if not euphoric, hearing an old friend's voice again, familiar and brimming with sincere care and concern. And with the wonders of radiation technology, I managed to send my regards to every one of my ex-high school mates who were present at the wedding, while attempting to soak in the joyous occasion despite not being physically available. I would be craning my neck daily, awaiting the pictures to be emailed to me, of the whole bunch cradling the bride, and "me" represented by my friend's mobile held significantly conspicious in the photo shoot as well. That would have been so nostalgic.

The bride, I heard, was stunning in her bridal gown. Yes, I can imagine her resembling a beautiful princess, wearing her dimpled smile and exuding charm from every single pore.

"A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems so short"- Andre Maurois (French Biographer, Novelist and Essayist, 1885-1967)

Perhaps I should tell Him how much I feel for Him as well...