No Regrets

Yes, I have come so far....absolutely no regrets to my unbelievable attainment at this stage.

I am the only Asian-cum-Chinese amongst my colleagues and allied staff in the general ward now, not counting the isolated part-timers downstairs in the Emergency department. Most of them have not been to the Pacific region, let alone our miniscule "red dot on the map" country. Except maybe our impressive Changi Airport during their transits, whose magnificence and cleanliness never failed to do us proud.

Hence, I have become an unwitting ambassador for the nation and the region. And I am dignified and privileged to be one. There may have been longstanding grouses and unpleasant memories back home that partially pushed me to this foreign land, but I will not denounce my nationality and roots under any circumstances. And I pretty much believe that all those imbeciled ingrates from our neighbouring countries who had unfortunately leeched on our resources for so long, and later turned their backs on their nurturing land with immatured tongue lashes should be mercilessly condemned to eternal hell and no-return. Call me judgemental and rigid, but I am utterly serious about it.

The cultural exchanges are truly fascinating. We share our backgrounds and experiences, our upbringing and beliefs. We all have a common ground, which is to find our respective niches and to constantly reinvent ourselves to adapt to the new environment. I have learned more about the Irish and Norwegian way of life, the Aussies who have come from different parts of the state, and even identified with the similar training processes for the medical students, who are very culturally diversified as well.

And the hospital, situated up on a hill, overlooking the breathtaking lake and its granduer, is a god-sent haven to work at. I had come with a defined purpose to experience an alternative lifestyle, and gained more than I had bargained for.

Not forgetting Him and his imperfections, which I am slowly learning to see beyond and be vulnerable.

Looking back at my days in medical school more than a decade ago, the one major setback that I encountered had inevitably formed an indellible mark on my life, and an enduring undesirable influence in my heart, which till this day, I am still sadly unable to muster enough strength and courage to confront and accept. I am still in denial in every sense and am running away from it. It was escapism that brought me here, and I am amazed how the twist of life had shaped my future in a totally unexpected way. It would have been so predictable if the past had been different.

I am truly satisfied now. The challenges of searching for my very own apartment in Sydney and the moving on to a completely new complexity of life and society certainly are daunting enough. But I am confident and hopeful this time. No longer the little girl who flies home crying to the embrace of her parents and friends.

I have been tested and polished, and am now growing, creating and blooming. Wish me luck!

Chat with God

God : Hello. Did you call me?

Me : Called you? No.. who is this?

God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.

God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me : Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic.It's rush hour all the time.

God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results.Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me : I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God : Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity.In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me : Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me : Why are we then constantly unhappy?

God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.You are worrying because you are analyzing.Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me : But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me : But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty ....

God : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me : If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire.Good people go through trials, but don't suffer.With that experience, their life become better not bitter.

Me : You mean to say such experience is useful?

God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me : But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?

God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength.Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me : Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading....

God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me : Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead.You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me : In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me : What surprises you about people?

God : When they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me?" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me : Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here? I can't get the answer.

God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me : How can I get the best out of life?

God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me : One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me : Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Year with a new sense of inspiration.

God : Well ........ keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust Me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

Generation Gap

I braved my fatigued physique and drooping eyelids to watch the night screening of the Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Although it was the second day of screening in this serene town, the crowd somehow was pathetically dismal and lukewarm. No long queues or ostentious dressing up. People here do sleep early.

It was an average movie, from my point of view. Rather disappointing, but anticipatory. It did provide a good closure to the 6 series, which I would proudly boast of having seen all of them.

I am not a Star Wars fan frankly. But it has been a childhood fantasy for me, and my Generation X. It was afterall nostalgic. I remember vividly how my brother and I would plant our bums 1 metre away in front of the box, intensely following every episode and favourite character of the series. The familiar soundtrack became a classic, as did the movies. We even read the book to keep up with the hooks and details of the saga. And I wonder why we would become densely myopic at such a young tender age...

The leading actors and actress were charismatic and endearing. I do recall having a big crush on Mark Hamil...or his charming character of Luke Skywalker...whatever...And the delightful chemistry between Princess Leia and Hans Solo. The Ewoks were reminiscent of my cute little teddy bears and R2D2 was simply a legend! Yes, yes, there were the quietly humble Yoda, and the reverent, older and less handsome Obi-Wan of course...

The newer modern versions were obviously letdowns, masqueraded by the stunning and somewhat excessively confusing special effects. The pretty-boy/girl castings of Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman were perhaps the only saviours of the series. The "extracurricular" creatures like Jar Jar Binx , General Grievous or their likes were extremely fake and irritating to the core. The stories were so entangled and complex that they paled miserably in comparison to the simplicity and yet sophisticated touch attached to the earlier films.

My younger friend from another "era" commented that it was perhaps a good thing that he had not watched the earlier episodes since they would have actually been a continuation of the newer sequels. Unfortunately, the charms of Luke Skywalker, Leia and Hans Solo belonged to our era and were integral figments of our childhood, which will not be wholly appreciated by the newer generation who has been dazzled by the technical replacements. It is not so much of the sequence of the stories, but rather the state and purity of our minds then.

"May the Force be with you."

All Smiles

I am grinning from ear to ear. I can't help it but I am savouring every minute of this rare euphoria. I know precious moments like these do not last long usually.

***
First of all, the admin b**** has finally gotten the sack! *Applause*

I don't mean to be sadistic and cruel (my friends and family will know very well that I am far more angelic than this ;), but this damned serpent had successfully squeezed flooding tears out of my lacrimal ducts more than anyone else since my arrival here. I have never met any other freak who could have been more merciless and devilish than she was. I nearly threw in the towel in the midst of my job out of sheer frustration and contempt, but realised that I would be steering the white flag if I had done so. Thankfully, I was not alone in the arduous battle, and with determined strength and stoicism, we managed to pluck this stye out of our sight eventually.

It was a delicious victory won with finger-licking satisfaction and justice. (Slurp!)

***
I never felt so loved.

The lengthy hours we spent chatting on the phone and the lovely messages he text me when he knew I was ill, really melted my heart. Call me a typical XX-chromosome. Despite being "plagued" by those notoriously stubborn traits of a Taurean, and swearing before never to settle for anything less than perfect, I was unwittingly taken in by the sweet-nothings and Ozzie charm of a completely irrational encounter! I tried to heed the advices of my loved ones back home, who all vehemently insisted that I would have deserved someone better. I attempted to play the devil and bring out the worst in me before him. He remained persistent and devoted, though slightly stunned by my unexpected "revelations" (hee..hee...told him I wanted to be a housewife...).

I am so confused and half-hearted right now, but yet at the same time, still basking in romantic glow and bliss. No wonder he did comment that I am a rather "complicated" individual, and yet not so. Does this sound complex enough??

***

I love the place I am working at now.

It is a small peripheral hospital smacked in the middle of a retirement village, facing the beauty of a lake. Naturally, the majority of my patients would have been the elderly folks, which basically satiates my interest of Geriatrics. It has been a pleasure dealing with these sweet old things.

And being a close-knitted environment, it is easier to know my colleagues and allied staff on a more personal basis. I was caught by surprise on the first day of work when the medical administrator extended her genuinely warm welcome and introduced me to literally every soul we met along the corridor and rooms. I am greeted with endearing smiles wherever I go, and despite the lack of sophisticated technology that a tertiary hospital would proudly boast of, we practise the true art of medicine with heart and compassion.

It will remain a pleasantly memorable and nostalgic part of my Ozzie adventure.

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication" (Leonardo daVinci, 1452-1519)

Happiness

It's clearly evident by now how much I love and admire Sam Hui's talent and songs. I could have watched his video concerts a hundred times. Here's one of his boundless legacies (translated painstakingly for the benefit of my 'kantang' friends):

快樂
作曲 許冠傑
作詞 許冠傑

快樂是陽光普照的清晨
快樂是流水美妙的音韻
快樂其實分分鐘把您等
只要您識 得點去搵

Happiness is the shining ray in the morning
Happiness is the melody of the flowing waters
Happiness is there waiting for you every minute
If only you know how to pick it up

快樂是尋找天際的星辰
快樂是回憶沙灘的足印
快樂其實邊一位都有份
不管您是富或貧

Happiness is finding the cosmic star in the heavens
Happiness is remembering the footprints on the shore
Happiness belongs to everyone
Regardless of whether you are rich or poor

朋友愛
父母恩
每刻溫暖在我心
豁達滿足
仁愛施恩
快樂 便常共您相親

The love of friendships
The sacrifices of parents
Are ever so heartwarming
With gratefulness
I return their love
And happiness shall always be with me

快樂是離開都市的煙塵
快樂是回家往浴缸一侵
快樂是一首好歌嘴裏哼
一張晚報　
一杯香檳

Happiness is forsaking the dust in the city
Happiness is soaking in my bathtub at home
Happiness is humming a good song
Reading a paper
Sipping my champagne

快樂是賢妻給我的精神
快樂是兒子親的一吻
快樂長伴我這一生
皆因我是快樂人

Happiness is the spirit bestowed by my loving wife
Happiness is the kiss on the cheeks by my son
Happiness is always by my side
Coz I am a happy man!

Hi-tech

This is good stuff. I am not giving the XX-chromosomal version away.

UPGRADING HUSBAND SOFTWARE

LAST year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and ESPN 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Reply from Tech Support: First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

***

Ok, so he has professed his love and admiration for me. His words had definitely mounted me on Cloud 9 and zoomed me to the heavenly cosmic space, where the views were simply dazzling. The damned rhinovirus was certainly beaten hands down by my surging endorphins.

But I am still pretty wary at this stage. I think I gotta know him better and on a deeper level. He is still not telling me some stuff which I feel I ought to know. I need to open up my eyes and ears, and tread with caution.

I've been investing too much with my rationale and practicality. Perhaps it's time to listen more to my heart this round?

Sigh

It's frustrating trying to upload my beloved pictures using the Helloblogger programme without success.

It's boring to be stuck at home with a leaky nose and fatigued muscles, thanks to the damned virus.

It's futile trying to study with a flu on board and an unsettling distracted mind.

It's a mad call trying to arrange appointments with housing agents in Sydney and having to rush down to be punctual.

It's disgusting of me to have my car air-conditioner blowing pungent odour all the time, and yet not bothering to find the time to bring it down for servicing these days.

It's sad to feel homesick all the time, and yet reluctant to go back at this time, having achieved nothing here so far.

It's unfortunate that I have solitude now, away from the rat race, but not able to make the best out of it.

Where is the zen, the peace in me? What will be my greatest legacy in this life? Or my greatest love of all?

Destiny

I've just finished reading "The Alchemist", by Paulo Coelho. And I could not believe its freaky uncanniness with my present journey of life; it was as if the author had read my innermost thoughts, grasped my egoistic beliefs and wrote the book specially for me!

In short, it was about an Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago who travelled from his homeland in search of his Personal Legend, which was a treasure that he had dreamed of, buried within the Pyramids of Egypt. Along the way, he met various people and strangers who would influence him deeply and change his life significantly. And of course, he found romantic love as well in the wilderness of the deserts. Eventually, the treasure ended up being where he had first started off.

It is, as quoted: "...an eternal testament to the transforming power of our dreams and the importance of listening to our hearts."

The ending is nevertheless tad disappointing for me, because it tells us that the treasures we have been painstakingly seeking elsewhere may actually be right at our doorsteps. Is this what my destiny is going to be? To go through the pilgrimage of life paved with unsurmountable obstacles so that I finally realise that I should have stuck at home to begin with?

"To realise one's destiny is a person's only obligation."

Poetic indeed, but I hope I would have been more fulfilled.

Happy Mother's Day

I ought to be slapped and reprimanded. I had forgotten that yesterday was Mother's Day until He reminded me. I had used to call her daily from here. But for some frustrating reason, the long-distance connection could not be made last night.

My dedication of one of her favourite songs here, again by the legendary singer (this would be hard to translate):

父母恩
作曲 許冠傑
作詞 許冠傑/黎彼得

在世間飄泊
孤身彷似浮雲
心底裡每思親添百感
父母恩千丈
一生把我護蔭
有若明燈驅黑暗

念往昔恩義
好比天際慈雲
開解我赤子之心
為我脫厄運
枕邊解我病 困
更望神恩多指引

父母恩
勝萬金
春暉寸草心
推衾送暖
舐犢情深

盡孝守本份
此生遵照父訓
掛念慈親悲不禁

Happy Mother's Day!

Confrontation

There were more confrontations today during our phone chat. We voiced our frustrations and cleared our doubts. Eventually there was more sharing and understanding.

But I am a bit exhausted now. Maybe it's the age thingy. I can't play games and be cheeky like I was 10 years back, really. I need something more straightforward.

I don't know what he's thinking. He has hinted great interest in me, but sounded reluctant to come over. He has shared real personal stuff with me, but told me he's meeting new female friends as well. Perhaps he doesn't know me that well after all.

I'm moving on. I'm not giving up the whole forest for a tree. There are still more out there to explore.

Uh-hem....unless he comes to Sydney instead....

Reminder

My Mum's Favourite Song by Sam Hui, whose well-meaning lyrics have become her constant reminder for me during my moments of follies and materialistic indulgence:

浪子心聲 （電影「半斤八兩」插曲）
作曲 許冠傑
作詞 許冠傑/黎彼得

難分真與假
人面多險詐
幾許有共享榮華
簷畔水滴不分差

無知井裏蛙
徒望添聲價
空得意目光如
誰料金屋變敗瓦

命裏有事終須有
命裏無時莫強求

雷聲風雨打
何用多驚怕
心公正白壁無瑕
行善積德最樂也

人比海裏沙
毋用多牽掛
君可見漫天落霞
名利息間似霧化

Chemistry

Article from Singaland local paper...Ingenious!

WOMEN: A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS A tongue-in-cheek e-mail

Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6kg but can range from 40kg-200kg
Occurance: Copious quantities in all urban areas.

Physical properties:
Boils at nothing, freezes with no known reason.
Bitter if incorrectly used.
Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore.

Chemical properties:
Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
May explode without warning.
Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.

Common uses: Highly ornamental.Can be a great aid to relaxation.

Potential hazards:
Highly dangerous, even in experienced hands.
Illegal to possess more than one.

General advice: Avoid contact wherever possible as cures can be expensive!

Philosophy (with translations)

為何未遇上另一半?

Why Haven't We Met the Other Half?

我們常常懷疑自己，明明條件不差，為什麼偏偏沒有另一半； 那些不那麼漂亮，不那麼可愛，不那麼幽默的人， 反而擁有令人羨慕的感情，為什麼呢？

We always wonder why is it that despite not having the worst qualities, we couldn't meet the other half? On the other hand, those who were less pretty and adorable with low sense of humour would have enviable relationships. Why is that so?

我想 … 是因為 … 我們都太小心、太謹慎、太不敢去愛了吧 …。

I think...it's because...we are too cautious, too careful, too afraid to love...

我們將自己的感情包裝的好好的， 不讓對方發現， 為了所謂的矜持與害怕， 選擇等待 … 選擇放棄 … 選擇錯過 …為何未遇上另一半?。

We keep our feelings under lock and key, out of stubbornness and fear, so that the other half would not find out. We chose to wait, to give up, to lose...why didn't we meet the other half?

偶爾我也會為獨自一人的日子感到空虛， 雖然身邊同性或異性的好朋友總是支持著自己， 卻有種模糊不清的不安全感與不確定感 … 我真的夠好嗎？有時我不禁自我懷疑 …。

Occasionally I do feel lonely being all by myself, despite having support from friends of both sexes. There is a sense of insecurity and uncertainty...Am I good enough? Sometimes I do doubt myself...

面對愛情，處於被動，一向是種最安全的方式， 而且 … 輕鬆 … 於是為了寂寞，為了尋求陪伴， 我們不免會考慮起那些有勇氣對自己表白、先付出心意的人， 無論結局是好是壞 … 對自己的傷害都不那麼大。

It's always safest to be loved. And it's relaxing. Thus for the sake of our loneliness and to find a partner, it's perhaps appropriate to consider those who have plucked their courage to express their love and give it all. Whether the consequence would have been good or bad...it wouldn't have hurt us so much.

因為「是對方追我的」， 因為「我沒有像他喜歡我那麼深。」 被愛很幸福 … 可以接受、可以拒絕、可以有面子。 於是我們總是等著人家來愛， 但是 … 當我們發現沒辦法愛上對方時呢？ 又或是我愛的人永遠都不說愛我呢？ 我該接受那段不期盼的感情， 還是勇於追求自己的幸福呢？

Because "it's him who had come after me", "I didn't love him as much as he had loved me". It's lucky to be loved...we can accept it, or reject it, and save our face. Therefore we always wait for others to love. But what if we find that we can't love them back? Or that the one whom we like doesn't reciprocate? Should we accept the unwanted love, or boldly seek our own happiness?

想著過去感情生活的空白， 我發現那時的自己， 既不敢接受愛我的人的情感， 也不肯去追求心動的對象， 只是偷偷希望對方能主動… 難怪 … 我會這麼的寂寞 …。

Looking back at my past emptiness in my love life, I realise my fear of having to accept the other half's feelings for me, as well as my reluctance to go for the one I liked. I had only hoped that he would make the first move. It's no wonder I have been so lonely...

這是因為 … 我不給別人也不給自己 … 任何的機會 …。

This is because I have not given others or myself any chance...

「現在的男孩不是騎士，現在的女孩也不是灰姑娘。」 當我翻起自己高中時代寫的日記時， 心中突然湧起好多的感觸。 過去的傲氣消逝的同時， 有些事卻不曾改變， 現在的男孩確實不一定有勇氣追求自己喜歡的女孩， 現在的女孩也不一定需要等待白馬王子的邀約。

There is no more knight in shining armour or Cinderella. I was filled with emotions when I flipped my high-school diary. We may have lost our youthful pride but certain things do not change. Guys nowadays still may not have that courage to go after the gals they like, and modern gals may not necessarily have to wait around for invitations from their knights.

但是 … 在這個大家都那麼脆弱的時代， 或許男男女女都選擇了沉默。 我們在曖昧的界線中遊走，不太近、也不太遠 … 在若有若無的暗示中，期盼對方的回應 …。

However, in these days of increasing fragility, everyone has perhaps chosen to maintain silence. We tread on a fine line, keeping a balance...waiting for answers, whether there are signals or not...

我承認我是這樣的 …… 但這樣會錯失多少可能的幸福呢？ 很羨慕很佩服 … 那些勇敢坦率說出自己的心意，表現自己的情感的人。 不管是男孩對女孩，或是女孩對男孩， 他們都對自己誠實的好可愛！

I admit I had been like that....but how much opportunities had I lost as a result? I envy and admire those who had bravely expressed their feelings and love. Their honesty is adorable!

或許會為了愛情而興奮得整夜難以成眠， 或許會傷心得淚流滿面， 然而 … 比一再的遺憾 … 來得精彩吧！

We may lose our sleep over the joys or sorrows with love, but this may have been much more interesting than eternal regrets.

我想我們都應該更勇敢些、更堅強點， 不能因為害怕傷害 … 就乾脆不去愛了 …。 喜歡一個人，何必在意先說出口， 想跟一個人牽著手一直一直走下去， 分享自己的喜怒哀愁， 這樣美麗的心情，難得一見 …。

I think we should be braver and stronger. We should not stop loving because we are afraid of being hurt. Why not say it when we like someone? To be able to walk hand in hand, and share our lives...it's special to have such beautiful feelings...

我們都要學著更溫柔 … 對愛我們或我們愛的人 … 認真接受、認真付出， 遺憾與後悔，比什麼都讓人難過。

We need to learn to be gentle to the ones who love us and the ones we love. We should give and take with sincerity. It's sad to have only regrets and pity.

別讓幸福 … 又由身邊流失了 … 要 … 更珍惜所有的一切!

Don't let happiness slip from us. Do treasure everything we have!

Encounters

What a lovely weekend...maybe up to dinnertime?

I felt like I had done so many things in a day and met so many people. Both desirable and undesirable characters. And I feel compelled to voice my two-cents' worth here regarding my encounters.

i) It was FANTASTIC meeting up with my good friend at Sydney. We have not caught up for ages since he was transferred to the god-forsaken towny precinct for the last 2 terms. And it did not help when he crashed his beloved Indian-mobile during one of those tiring journeys over the weekend.

We had so much to confide...our work, the new people we met, our new perspectives of life, my new romance...

Though 4 years more junior than me, he exuded wisdom and maturity which were indeed rarities for his age. His initial idealism and under-exposure to diversed cultures gradually faded with our fated associations and influences.

I am truly thankful for having a valuable friend like him in this new Ozzie land.

ii) I was introduced to a new friend during this trip. SP was a mild-mannered, warm and extremely homely-looking lass from Malaysia who had been Ozzified. We were pretty much similar in age and she was extremely comfortable to hang out with. We had not brought our shortlived alliance to a more personal level, but I certainly hope it will progress to a deeper friendship.

iii) I met up with a distant colleague whom I had worked with briefly in my first few months. I was glad she came and let her hair down like the rest of us. She was slightly older and definitely more reserved, probably due to her upbringing and culture. I have deep-felt admiration for her tenacity and courage for what she had been through and given up. I hope she had truly enjoyed our company as much as we did with her presence.

iv) Perhaps there was one less desirable character whom I wish I had not been more closely acquainted with. The first impression had not been unpleasant but certainly not appealing as well. But I tried to open up and not judge the book by its cover. It was a pretty amiable friendship, albeit our extremely different personalities and outlooks. I guess her obviously nassicistic trait and critical comments about her own "nation" were still tolerable, but I will put my feet down if she had not, for the slightest effort, shown any sincerity to defend or support me when needed. It belied her innate sense of insecurity and inferiority complex, and her constant and fixated attempts to "re-classify" herself and pigeonhole others through her tinted glasses were laughable and unrealistic. I do not demand a lot from my friends but I would have certain expectations and positive selectivities at this stage of my life. I would not want to meet her again.

v) And I guess birds of the same kind do flock together. My brief but seemingly-long encounter with her equally young punky pal-in-identity-crisis definitely marred the rest of my day and unveiled some new revelations. I would not dismiss any inherent bias against any nation or culture for I do admit my own guilt in that, but I believe that a touch of maturity and sensitivity is crucial in a setting with the presence of international and multicultural origins. I would be fair and attribute his abhorable attitude to his own parental upbringing rather than his so-called ABC privilege, for I have fortunately been acquainted with much nicer and more matured individuals with similar backgrounds. Grow up, my poor little soul.

vi) At the end of the day, I could not have been more thankful to my wonderful friend here who had made the day possible. Her effervescent vibrance and immensed love for life were indeed positive influences for me and did, to a certain extent, made me a better person. Her recent shot of romance with her new beau may be slightly unsettling and worrisome but I trust that she would be sensible and cautious. She has my utmost support regardless of how it will turn out. Many hugs for you, Baby!