No Regrets

Yes, I have come so far....absolutely no regrets to my unbelievable attainment at this stage.

I am the only Asian-cum-Chinese amongst my colleagues and allied staff in the general ward now, not counting the isolated part-timers downstairs in the Emergency department. Most of them have not been to the Pacific region, let alone our miniscule "red dot on the map" country. Except maybe our impressive Changi Airport during their transits, whose magnificence and cleanliness never failed to do us proud.

Hence, I have become an unwitting ambassador for the nation and the region. And I am dignified and privileged to be one. There may have been longstanding grouses and unpleasant memories back home that partially pushed me to this foreign land, but I will not denounce my nationality and roots under any circumstances. And I pretty much believe that all those imbeciled ingrates from our neighbouring countries who had unfortunately leeched on our resources for so long, and later turned their backs on their nurturing land with immatured tongue lashes should be mercilessly condemned to eternal hell and no-return. Call me judgemental and rigid, but I am utterly serious about it.

The cultural exchanges are truly fascinating. We share our backgrounds and experiences, our upbringing and beliefs. We all have a common ground, which is to find our respective niches and to constantly reinvent ourselves to adapt to the new environment. I have learned more about the Irish and Norwegian way of life, the Aussies who have come from different parts of the state, and even identified with the similar training processes for the medical students, who are very culturally diversified as well.

And the hospital, situated up on a hill, overlooking the breathtaking lake and its granduer, is a god-sent haven to work at. I had come with a defined purpose to experience an alternative lifestyle, and gained more than I had bargained for.

Not forgetting Him and his imperfections, which I am slowly learning to see beyond and be vulnerable.

Looking back at my days in medical school more than a decade ago, the one major setback that I encountered had inevitably formed an indellible mark on my life, and an enduring undesirable influence in my heart, which till this day, I am still sadly unable to muster enough strength and courage to confront and accept. I am still in denial in every sense and am running away from it. It was escapism that brought me here, and I am amazed how the twist of life had shaped my future in a totally unexpected way. It would have been so predictable if the past had been different.

I am truly satisfied now. The challenges of searching for my very own apartment in Sydney and the moving on to a completely new complexity of life and society certainly are daunting enough. But I am confident and hopeful this time. No longer the little girl who flies home crying to the embrace of her parents and friends.

I have been tested and polished, and am now growing, creating and blooming. Wish me luck!