Stupidity

It is hard to find a theme and focus now, after such a long hiatus. In just a short one and a half month, I have done, seen, touched, felt and loved so much. The masculine scent of Him lingers, and despite having settled down more comfortably in the exciting world of Sydney, my heart somehow no longer belongs here, and the yearnings to be with the one I love grow stronger by the day.

"For it was not in my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."

These, however, did not erase the slight turmoil within me, the strange uncertainty of this whole relationship and its future of all. The realistic toss between bacon and feelings, the diversity and yet uncanny similarities of our personalities and backgrounds, and the hope for acceptance by my family and close friends, tickled my rationality, despite my strong desire not to let it lead for once.

Prudence of the best heads, as a friend has kindly pointed out, is often defeated by the tenderness of the best hearts. I want to be mad, insane, to fill my heart like an hourglass, as my brain empties to nought. For hope never abandons us; we abandon it.

"Love is being stupid together."
(Paul Valery, French Poet, 1871-1945)