Dreams.Expectations.

"To dream anything that you want to dream; that's the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do; that is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits; that is the courage to succeed."

When I announced my job offer from a rather renowned hospital in Sydney, I received the comforting support and rooting from my old friends back home, like the shining stars in the sky - not always seen but always there. I did not anticipate the confrontations and suspicions that were to assail me from another group of individuals, whom plagued with delusional bias and deeply fixated opinions, perhaps did not know me afterall.

I do not owe anyone other than my loving parents any explanation at all regarding my life choices, but I do feel compelled to straighten out my thoughts and goals here as a testimony that there will be no regrets in future with my current crucial decision.

The one question that kept bugging me was: "Why go to Sydney? Why not stay on?" And the answer was very simple and heartfelt: I like Sydney.

I have no adversity towards my current adopting city. In fact, if my dear friends have been reading my previous blog entries, I actually find this place beautiful. But I am just referring to the god-sent landscape. A HOME is not just about its physical structure but also its occupants, culture and ambience. I know I am unable to call this place my home because I do not feel belonged here. It is not just about having friends or family, or holding a highly esteemed occupation here, but it has to be about feeling accepted and acknowledged, not ambitiously as a potential citizen, but at the very least a welcomed guest. Life may not be a bed of roses as well in Sydney, but "hope arouses, as nothing else can arouse, a passion for the possible". And hence I pray that I may be able to blend in more smoothly with its bigger mix of Asian population and a more familiar urbane lifestyle.

Another misconception that plugged me was: "Are you leaving because you think the hospitals in Sydney are more prestigious?" My honest reply to that: "No, it is we who shape the environment, not what the place maketh us."

I have high regards for the immense knowledge and skills of the medical professionals here and there is no doubt about their dedication and credibility, even if it is without the state-of-the-art facilities that the main cities can boast of. I am grateful for having the opportunity to work here and it has so far been pleasant and conducive for me. But having reached the point of my life when I would have to decide on my long-term career goal, I would not have been able to hop around in various subspecialties that I have touched base with back at home. And I could not have rejected the golden egg that was presented to me. Eventually it would be up to me whether I make my indellible mark in my new adopting city, which I envisage would involve a fair amount of hard work and commitment.

I am happy that my good friend has found great satisfaction and fulfilment in his job here, and he would have had all my blessings and support in his future endeavours. At the same time, I would have wished for the same level of understanding and encouragement from him, though not forgetting the vast differences in culture and background between us. We may not share the same outlook of life and thus deal with problems in our own unique styles. I respect his views and reasons, and hope that he will similarly empathise with me. I will strive to develop more tolerance towards my new foreign environment, but I would wish for less narrow-mindedness and more maturity from him when treading on our friendship realms.

"True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable."

I rest my case.